The Saddest Tale

You can talk about your endurance tests
And yes, Ames is one with its three hours in West Tennessee
And the Livingston Place for its hour fifty in briars and Florida heat
(But you must not call it Dixie Plantation for both them words ain’t woke)
And four hours down at Paducah in three days is a worthy test I guess
But the toughest of all
Was at Sedgefields West ( Mr. Jimmy’s Sedgefields )
In the National Free-For-All

Why you ask and I’ll tell you plain
Was because of the pace the judges set
A running walk
Not a flat foot walk
Without a pause for a thing but a find
Was a test sure nuff
Took a big going dog
The kind don’t look back
For his handler or his scout
You have a find and that puts you behind
Then better canter hard to catch the front or you’re gone
Yes the Free-For-All was the meanest test of all

I remember one brace in particular there
The dogs were outlaws sure nuff
Their handlers too and they were rivals true
And their scouts were out to get even
With one another and every one else
Even their owners didn’t like one another
They spoke just once in the week
That was when Mr. Jimmy had them over
To the manor house together
For dinner and drinks

What happened while they was down
Only I know cause I was riding alone in the woods
Lookin for my dog that I’d lost in the morning’s brace

Now you can tell when there is going to be trouble
Especially in a test like the Free-For-All
Where every one gets called back is up tight
Anxious and scared they ain’t got enough dog
Cause very likely they don’t
Cause it takes a hell of a dog to go
That distance and still
Have a finish up the Valley of Death
(The last forty minutes that starts
When you leave the muddy river bottom)

The dogs at that time had three finds apiece
And were running enough but each needed a rest
So their handlers pitched them to their scouts
On the sides to do what good scouts do best
Take their dog out of sight
Get him some rest and then
Put him out up front so it looks like he done it hisself

Well things went by plan for a while
But then the plans went awry
As so often happens
When dogs are tired and men are desperate

Each handler had an extra scout waiting
Out of sight in the woods
Whose job it was
To Shanghai the other handler’s dog
And ride it away

Trouble was, each woods scout was successful
I saw them both catch a dog
Put it on his pommel
And ride off the course
To be gone too long
Declared lost
That old saddest tale